Whirlwind

I didn't post yesterday because I ended up having a really busy day, but it was really positive as well. I usually work a few hours at my friends store in on Thursdays. Since the Toronto Vegetarian Food Fair is this weekend, he was extra busy so I worked until closing. It was a breeze for me, but it was tough to see him so stressed out. There's also another vendor that makes Chocolates out of the store (vegan of course) and I went to help her for a bit after my shift. I spent a very long day in the store! I really wanted to help out because these are two good, solid people who are doing something they're passionate about for a living. I feel as though the more I surround myself with people like that, I may start to unravel what some of my passions may be.

I've been sprouting a lot lately, but I've noticed my sprouts smell a bit off. They may be rancid, it's hard to tell. I made rejuvelac and I took a sip and I was nauseous for a while. I've heard that's a common reaction when introducing fermented foods, but at the same time it's really easy to mess up and get lots of mold :( I'm going to try some again, but if I get a similar reaction I think I will throw it away. No sense in making myself feel more sick. I'm also making some sprouted quinoa granola, but the smell from the dehydrator is leaving me a bit suspicious.Hmm..

So yes, this weekend is the Food Fair, which has been on my mind for a while. My initial instinct is to skip it. I still don't feel great, I don't feel like being social at all. However, I feel a pull to go. Not for the food, but for the people. I've been avoiding my voicemail, email, facebook... everything. I haven't been a good friend and have not kept in touch with anyone over the past month. I think some friendly vibes might be what I need to nourish my soul. I feel so alone lately, but that's only because I've pushed people away. There are people in my life who are genuinely concerned about me and I feel as though I should welcome that. This is when I need friends the most. So far the only person I've really been opening up to is my mother. The problem is she lives in another province. She isn't here to hug me and offer the care that I'm really craving. I think I created this situation though. I have a hard time asking for help and an even harder time accepting it. If I wanted ongoing support, I would've opened up to someone closer by, but I rely on my mom because there is physical distance so there's no danger of getting too close. *sigh*

I'm going for a follow-up appointment with my Naturopath today ($$$) and I hope the pricetag doesn't leave me spinning like it did last time. I'm putting my faith into this Dr. so I really do hope we find some answers. I don't really want to live on this emotional roller coaster anymore.. or maybe I do? Sometimes I feel as though I crave drama. Either way, it should be interesting.